The Unseen Leader
When you hear the word leader, what comes to mind?
A CEO? A politician? A coach giving a pep talk?
It’s easy to think of leadership as a position - something earned, assigned, or chosen.
But what if leadership isn’t about a title at all?
What if it’s about how you show up, the influence you carry, and the quiet impact you make every day?
John Maxwell, a world-renowned leadership expert, puts it simply:
“Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less.”
(And if anyone knows leadership, it’s him. With over 30 million books sold, John Maxwell has spent his 50+year career studying what truly makes leaders effective.)
Sooo, What IF you ARE a leader… and you don’t even realize it?
I didn’t.
People told me for years that I was a leader, but I didn’t see it. I was just the one “running the groups” for adults looking to improve their lives. For nearly two decades, I led, coached, taught, and created safe spaces for others to grow. But I didn’t call it leadership or consider myself a leader. It was just what I did.
Looking back, I was leading - not just at work, but at home too. I led clients, students, and peers. I led my family, including the puppies I raised for a dog guide school. I taught Sunday School and led our church’s youth group (okay, that one technically had the word “leader” in the title). I hosted family reunions and planned large fun themed parties for our friend groups.
But I never identified as a leader. It was just what I did.
I was what I now call an unseen leader - and I bet there’s a bit of that in you, too.
Let’s Clear Up a Few Myths About Leadership
Myth #1: Leadership is a position.
Nope. Leadership is about influence, not a job title.
I spent 18 years running personal development groups, but I never considered myself a leader. Those were the managers I worked under, my bosses. I just “ran groups.” In reality, I was leading people through growth and healing every single day.
Myth #2: Leaders are always the loudest voice in the room.
Not true. Some of the best leaders are the quiet ones, those who create safe spaces, listen deeply, and show up consistently.
When I worked as a kitchen and bath designer, I wasn’t just helping people choose cabinets, I was walking them through big emotional decisions. I was leading with empathy and a desire for transformation in a very unexpected space.
Myth #3: You can’t lead unless you’re ”in charge”.
That’s where Maxwell’s 360° Leader concept comes in.
You can lead from the middle, the bottom, the side - wherever you are. Whether you’re a parent, friend, teacher, or teammate… you’re influencing others by the way you live, speak, listen, and respond.
That’s leadership.
It’s time we stop only looking up to find leaders and start looking around - and within.
Leading Starts with You
Before you can lead others, you have to lead yourself.
Maxwell says, “You can’t lead others well until you lead yourself well.”
So what does that actually mean?
It means getting honest about how you show up in the world. Your habits, your self-talk, your energy, your presence.
You are already leading someone - yourself, your family, your circle, your classroom, your team, your clients… even your dog.
Title or not, your presence has power.
What Kind of Impact Are You Making?
People are always observing. They’re noticing how you speak, how you handle stress, how you treat others.
So ask yourself:
Are you grounded and intentional?
Do you bring calm or chaos?
Are you present or always rushing through the day?
Leadership lives in the atmosphere you create.
Whether it’s your home, your team, your classroom, or your workspace - you set the tone.
Are the people around you seen, heard, and valued?
Or are you just trying to survive the day?
Know Yourself, Grow Your Influence
One of the most helpful tools in my leadership journey has been the Maxwell DISC Personality Profile.
It gave me a clearer understanding of how I naturally lead - how I communicate, make decisions, and respond under pressure. And just as importantly, it helped me recognize that others may be wired differently.
Some lead with bold energy. Others lead with compassion, steadiness, or quiet precision.
There’s no “right” style - only greater self-awareness.
And the more you understand yourself, the better you can lead others with confidence, clarity, and connection.
A Few Questions to Reflect On:
Where in your life are you already leading - whether or not you’ve claimed the title of leader?
What kind of energy or atmosphere are you creating for others?
How would your leadership shift if you were more aware of your communication style?
Want to Discover Your Unique Leadership Style?
If you’re curious about your own Maxwell DISC profile and how it can help you lead yourself (and others) more intentionally, I’d love to explore it with you.
Because leadership doesn’t begin with a title.
Leadership starts with YOU.
