Leadership Begins With Knowing Where You’re Valued
There’s a popular story I often reference in my workshops:
A father gives his daughter an old car for graduation. He tells her to take it to a used car lot and ask how much they’ll give her. She returns, saying they offered only a few hundred dollars. He then tells her to try the pawn shop. Again, a low offer. Finally, he sends her to a car collector’s club. This time, she comes back wide-eyed. “They offered me $100,000!”
The lesson: the value of something is recognized differently depending on where it’s placed.
The car didn’t change. The people around it did.
This story isn’t just about antiques - it’s about us. It’s about you. And it’s about leadership.
As leaders, we’re taught to see value in others - to believe the best in people, to draw out their potential, and to lead with compassion and curiosity. But many of us weren’t taught how to lead ourselves in the same way.
We weren’t taught what to do when we find ourselves in rooms where our gifts are overlooked.
We weren’t taught how to recalibrate when our voice goes unheard or when we’re treated like a disposable extra instead of the impactful presence we are.
And if you’re like me, you may have learned the hard way: pouring out your best in spaces where people weren’t ready - or willing - to receive it.
But leadership, true leadership, starts with self-awareness.
And self-awareness begins with this question: Am I placing myself in environments where I am seen, valued, and respected?
That question isn’t about ego - it’s about alignment. It’s about stewardship.
It’s about honoring the time, energy, and brilliance you bring to the table.
Because when you don’t feel seen, it’s easy to doubt your voice. To shrink. To question your worth. To compromise. And if you’re not careful, that internal questioning begins to chip away at your confidence and clarity - not just in business, but in life.
So what does self-leadership look like in those moments?
It looks like pausing to recalibrate.
It looks like getting honest with yourself:
Am I in the right room?
Does this opportunity feel aligned, or am I trying to force connection where there’s no mutual respect?
It looks like giving yourself permission to walk away - not with bitterness, but with strength.
And it looks like surrounding yourself with people and spaces that reflect your value back to you, not out of obligation, but out of respect.
Great leaders don’t need to prove their worth - they know it.
They don’t just invite others to the table - they make sure the table is one where mutual value is celebrated.
They don’t just lead others - they lead themselves first.
Here are two questions to sit with this week:
Where in your life or leadership are you feeling unseen - and what might it be time to release?
What would shift if you stopped chasing validation and started building in spaces where your value is already evident?
And a final reminder:
You are not too much.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not expecting too much by wanting to be respected, welcomed, and seen.
You are simply learning to lead yourself well.
And that… is the foundation of great leadership.
Ready to recalibrate your leadership, your energy, and your direction?
I’d love to walk with you. Learn more about leadership development, coaching, and creative transformation at TinkerN.org, or reach out directly to connect, contact information is below.
Because you deserve to lead - and live - from a place of clarity, confidence, and true connection.
